downgraded my score on this even though I saw it four extra times in theatres just to throw a fit and laugh at it when I was a teen. at this point, for me, it’s definitively the worst thing that’s ever been made by someone who’s good at something. it’s worse than most children’s TV and has sick faith that the best computers of a dogshit year would be the best computers ever made.
every actor involved shames themselves. imagine,…
this is a mess and I should probably dislike it more, but there are some lovable bits. sometimes it’s really beautiful and detailed, sometimes it looks like bad CG and blue screen. when the symmetrical center framing works, it works, but it’s also a useless default in some of the worst scenes.
I think it’s neat that there are multiple actors in this who’ve already been in a Dracula. I didn’t expect anything from Depp, and I was pleasantly surprised. they let Dafoe be himself for like three minutes before stuffing him in a serious demon doctor box.
pays off on being interesting by the end, but it lays almost all of its cards on the table in the first episode and then makes you slog through a lot of unsurprising moments until the finale. compare this show’s micropenis reveal to the micropenis reveal in Patriot; there’s just no drama here.
safdies mostly traffic in malice and ignorance, and it’s not the freshest combo for fielder’s cringe. cringe is paired better with his usual childlike wonder and sense of surprise; you don’t learn anything watching this.
